DEAR WHOEVER

today's probably the worst day ever.

i didnt eat much.
i never tried to talk at all.
i locked myself behind my 4 walls.
i cant stand my parents' constant nagging. (first time ever)

cheer me up. tell me i'll be alright. things will be back to normal in time. please.

even through the darkest of all hours.
i used to see everyday filled with light.
now, that light has started to fade.
im trying hard not to be consumed by it.

i need to express myself in someway right now.

*not related to previous post*

:) or :(

ok, i dont know whether to be :) or :(

oh, no, there's no cause for alarm.
im fine. dont worry. i am.

hooray. jamming again on sunday. wohoo.

BLANK

sorry nadia about the "cat" incident last night.
i shall learn to eat first. then play. can? :)

ok my mind's practically blank right now except the fact that tomorrow is a friday.

also, the zoo is moving nearer to choa chu kang? for real?
if so, visits to the zoo everyday, who's with me? ok i must be joking. seriously.

im craving for ice lemon tea. make it iced cold please.

*starts to daydream*

STUDY

yes, today the purpose was to study at school.
met up with nadia and alia at dover. i was late abit. im sorry. :S

first time ever, nadia with her blue skinnies!

studied for a little while.
ended up 3/4 of the time solving nadia's btt.
also. solving all kinds of quizzes with them.

wooooo. i am suppose to play a harp. sponsor me, anyone?

oh i forgot to mention, we had free hawaian pizza, from pizza hut! :)
thanks to alia's friend of course.

HELLO PEOPLE, BTW I ALSO GO BY THE NAME OF WANDA NOW.
PLEASE DO STAND UP FOR MALE SEAHORSES, THEY ARE REAL GENTLEMEN.

RETURN II

WELCOME BACK NADIA TURLDA, MISS CALIFORNIA, LITTLE MISS CHUBBY CHEEKS!

now now, where's my bubblegum, my muse stuffs, my ramly burger & my village chicken?
alright, i was just kidding. :)

ONCE AGAIN, WELCOME BACK!

X'MAS GLITCH

happened on christmas eve.
my handphone reception was fine.
but my receiving sms were delayed.

too many people were sending xmas messages thus lagging the system?

DUTY ROCKER II

spent the day at tiet studios again. this time it was only me.
was amused by this one band who covered umbrella, where is the love and such.
oh i forgot to mention, i jammed for an hour for free.

err. intially i was supposed to meet up wif syu and adele for the gig at esplanade.
so sorry i cancelled, aniways she was with adele. i'll be the extra one.

well. there you go, time today wasnt wasted at all.
maybe i'll head down there again tomorrow?

oh oh oh! she'll be back tomorrow!

JAMMING AWAITS!

RETURN

she'll be back tomorrow? no? the day after tomorrow? yes?

yay. my grandparents are back from indonesia. :)
the house will be livelier once more.

do me a favour and break my nose
do me a favour and tell me to go away
do me a favour and stop asking questions

ok yes, im hooked. heh. :)

ABSENCE

the food today was splendid. the activities were the same.
i miss my grandparents. oh well 2 more days. haha.

a safe and pleasant journey for you and your family. have fun nadia.
be hearing from you in 4 days time. :)

3AM

at times when ure wide awake late at night, dont you wish you had someone to talk to?

FAMILY GUY V.S THE SIMPSONS

if only they made games like this nowadays. enjoy. :)

DREAMT

oh oh oh, not forgetting something.
last night i dreamt MUSIC TELEPATHY covered citizen erased. oh wow. :)

ok, one fine day.

BORING

yes, say it with me. BOOOOOORING. :(

22: THE DEATH OF ALL THE ROMANCE

moral of the music video is, buy teddy bears, before they lose their heart. err ok not.

CITIZEN ERASED

im sure i used to be so free.

FALLING AWAY WITH YOU

i cant remember when it was good
moments of happiness elude
maybe i just misunderstood

all of the love we left behind
watching the flashbacks intertwine
memories i will never find

so i'll love whatever you've become
and forget the reckless things we've done
i think our lives have just begun
i think our lives have just begun

and i feel my world crumbling
i feel my life crumbling
i feel my soul crumbling away

im falling away, falling away, with you

staying awake to chase a dream
tasting the air you're breathing in
i hope i wont forget a thing

promise to hold you close and pray
watching the fantasies decay
nothing will ever stay the same

all of the love we threw away
all of the hopes we cherished fade
making the same mistakes again
making the same mistakes again

and i feel my world crumbling
i feel my life crumbling
i feel my soul crumbling away

im falling away, falling away, with you

all of the love we left behind
watching the flashbacks intertwine
memories i will never find

memories i will never find

nadia, what this means is...

all these while, probably yes, im at fault, im the cause. so yeah this is it.
i shall give my all to carry on in life, still id be your bestfriend, no matter what.
even if yesterday was probably devastating for me, still, its ok if it hurt me.
everything will remain, i hope. the name calling, the pranks, the usuals.
guess, this is it, and as time goes by, dont worry nadia. i wont forget you.
or the things we talked, joked or laughed about.

so yeah, im sorry for all the troubles ive caused since day one.

lastly, id like to thank you for well, everything.
ive got lots to say but yeah, this shall be all, i guess.

get well soon you. hope you'll feel better. see you tomorrow :)

DUTY ROCKER

yes, last night i spent the whole day at tiet.

accompanying hazwan till he closes the shop.
wait, ubai was with me too. well, actually i forced him to stay too.

we talked about nonsensical stuffs. reviewed the bands who came that night.
there was a 4 piece newbie band which just started out. made out of 2 boys & 2 girls.
and one of their songlist was time is running out by MUSE. what a suprise.

not only that, the bassist & keyboardist were girls. (dont worry nadia you rock more)
and when they heading out, the bassist knocked herself onto the entrance door.
all 3 of us were shocked. how can she not see the entrance door? really funny.

aniways, the long day was also spent playing with the counter bell.
i didnt know why but i found it amusing. i kept playing with it a-hell-lot.
i guess when you're bored anything goes.

oh not to mention, i had drumming lessons too. but still i suck at drumming.

also FYI, there's a grave near to tiet. and yes its someones. a woman's to be exact.
scary stuff aint it. even at night, ubai and i still decided to walk pass there.

overall, yesterday was fun.

and sorry i did not reply you.
i was fast asleep when you sent your sms. :S

TO "YOU" II

no, you're never a burden. stop saying that.
if you've hurt me, i'll understand. i'd never hurt you back.
and sorry, if this was ever my fault from the start.

please, be patient and strong nadia.
jamming soon yea. more pranks on syu. more pranks on you. more silly stuffs from me.

dont hate yourself. you dont have any reason to. cheer up you.

THIS IS MY HEART

hi i am radi and this is my heart.



words, afterall. i'll come around.

KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA

noone's going to take me alive
the time has come to make things right
you and i must fight for our rights
you and i must fight to survive

i want to go jamming again. oh wow, how i wish i can move and play like matt.
oh and no, im not gay.

and their dvd will have to wait till february. its been delayed.
it was supposed to be on december 3rd. oh well. i can wait. patience, patience. :)

YOUR EX-LOVER IS DEAD

one word about the song, beautiful. its titled your ex-lover is dead by stars.
still, i say MUSE is top. :)

WE CAN HAVE IT

last night all the horrible things in life, stormed through my dreams
and i just want to shut it up, shut it down, or shut it off

going where we lost it all, yet things before are with us
now it hurts it kills, it takes the joy, it brings no light, it brings no love

and what we want most, is nowhere to be found, some people care
they're going long, they're going deep, and still its nowhere to be found

we're looking far, we're searching wide, still its nowhere to be found
what we want, is gone for good, its simply nowhere to be found

somewhere is the one that never will burn out
is out there, looking for a heart, looking for a home
looking for a hand to stoke its head

you're not alone, and you never said i'll see you again
you never said i will, you never said i'll see you again, you never said, i will

somewhere, someone says they got it all
but thats not even what we want, not even close

it wont ever be what we want

TO "YOU"

you should not keep everything inside.

im afraid things will change drastically if you do
and im sure, you're afraid of it too.

changes are the only things thats constant in life.
time changes people, and so you've proved it to be true.
but that doesnt mean we have to abide to that change.
people just need to stay strong. and it applies to everything.

so, i beg of you, nadia, please stay strong.
and if they bring you down, you should know what to do.
cause im still the person you once knew, and i wont ever stay away.

all i wish for you, is that for you to be your old self.
yes its hard, as your problems dont instantly go away, and they continue to linger.

but yeah, if it takes time i understand. and if you cant tell me your problems.
still, i'd cheer you up, do silly things infront of you, laugh with you, etc.
i'd go all out. and no, you've never been a burden. i swear.

believe me.

CHANGES

how can angels like you, fall right down from grace?

no matter what, though thick and thin.
if this doesnt apply to you animore. then yeah, let me be the fool.

HOODOO II

come into my life, regress into a dream
we will hide, and build a new reality
draw another picture, of a life you could have had
follow your instincts, and choose the other path

you should never be afraid
you're protected from trouble and pain
why, why, is this a crisis in your eyes again?

come to be, how did it come to be?
tied to a railroad, no love to set us free
watch our souls fade away, and our bodies crumbling
dont be afraid

i will take the blow for you~

and ive had recurring nightmares
that i was loved for who i am
and missed the opportunity
to be a better man


i am afraid. they might just be words.
but its not as if i dont believe. im just afraid.

i dont care. yes, i may still do.
but nothing can be done. then so be it.

oh well. this is what you call life afterall.

AND

she said to forget.
but.. ok i shall forget the problems then. :S

aniways.

MUSIC TELEPATHY's 1st ever debut was a success.
nadia was great and she wore that new checkered top that made her look country-ish.
syu was great too but the nervousness was always kicking in on her.

BUT, overall we did great. and thanks to "them" for the opportunity.

hmmm. now i need a lubricate my strings. its affecting the sound.
oh and today, damn. i accidentally dropped my pedal on the hard concrete floor.

damn, damn, damn. oh well. MT rocks! XD

HOODOO

what i do is wrong
my heart tells me only wrong things
im just gonna be wrecking two souls
and when i try to change, it changes me back
and yes, i hate myself.



i will take the blow for you.

and to me it means, i will change everything which is myself.
and im so sorry nadia.

IDK

why but, all of a sudden, i just want to cancel out my name.

ive already been told to do whatever i feel like doing.
but it felt wrong. oh well.

and IF really, i shouldnt be in.
there's probably a good reason behind it, well thats what i hope to think.
and its probably best if i just cancel out my name and not know the reasons.

i understand. yeah i guess so.

sighs. i dont know. i must be thinking too much. oh well. aniway.
goodnight. i better start to reset myself.

DREAMS

its something we want or have
be it for yourself or either with yourself and someone else.
and its ok to dream, cause apparently its free. and its not that mind bending.
but it wont come true unless we do something about it, so yeah.

yesterday, nadia and i sat and we came up with quite a number of dreams.
and hopefully one fine day, they'll come true. if not all, then maybe some of it?

apparently not all my dreams are shattered yet.
the utopian dream may already have, but we're still making something out of the mess.
and in the end i have someone to thank cause ultimately, it points to her.

and no, that wasnt an attempt to be sarcastic or anything. but really.
thank you so much, you.



do you remember
what things looked like when you were young
the voice of an old friend
or the notes to your first song

it's been a while now
since you asked me to be
your cat, your dog, your owl, or bumblebee

lately I've been feeling like the day has come
you'll walk up to me and erase my memory
can't wait to feel brand new
i cant wait to meet you again, friend

i think i must have known you, in another life
i think our rocking chairs used to rock together, all night

with pictures of owls, all over the walls
tiny ships in bottles, they won't sail too far

BLACKOUT

dont kid yourself, and dont fool yourself
this love's too good to last
and im too old to dream

ok this helps, a little. thank you muse.

MAY BE WITHOUT CAUSE

im sorry, its all that i can say
you mean so much and i'll fix all that ive done if i could start again
i'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets
and you would have the best of me

blame it on the weather. but no. i shall not let it happen again.

aniways its monday. as usual, the monday blues.
physically i was in class, but mentally, i prolly was up in the skies.
and note to self, beware of mondays, i tend to eat alot.

re-test tomorrow. damn. oh well. i know my stuffs already.

LAST TRAIN HOME

to every broken heart in here
love was once a part, but now it's disappeared
she told me that it's all part of the choices that you make
even when you think you're right
you have to give to take

but there's still tomorrow
forget the sorrow and i can be on the last train home
watch it pass the day, as it fades away
no more time to care, no more time, today

but we sing, if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing, if it's not enough
and we sing, sing without a reason
to ever fall in love

i wonder if you're listening
picking up on the signals, sent back from within
sometimes it feels like I don't really know whats going on
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here

but there's still tomorrow
forget the sorrow, and I can be on the last train home
watch it pass the day, as it fades away
no more time to care, no more time, today

but we sing, if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing, if it's not enough
and we sing, sing without a reason
to ever fall in love

well we sing, if we're going nowhere
yeah we sing, if it's not enough
And we sing, sing without a reason to ever fall in love

but we sing , if we're going no where
yeah we sing, if it's not enough
and we sing, sing with out a reason to never fall in love
to never fall in love again

oh man, there's school tomorrow.

SOMETIMES

life doesnt gives you what you want.
we start to compare and it may seem unfair.
afraid of facing dissapointments, but its natural.

in the end, we end up hurting ourselves.

so why not take things easy and casual.
and just give it your all and your best.
continue to give and dont expect much back.

one day, it might just pay off, and we might not have to hurt ourselves.

dont worry you. dont hurt yourself now. :)

HYSTERIA

cause i want it now, i want it now! give me your heart and your soul! XD

ONCE

i used to have a deviantart account. with all the artworks and stuffs.
click this. TYPE-D.

well go view it. its been long since i updated it. i can really like laugh at myself.
oh well. those were the days, long long ago. lets not go back there now. :)

LETTER TO SANTA

since nadia made her christmas list, i shall too.

ok here goes nothing.

dearly beloved old bearded man. (oh i mean santa claus)

ive been good throughout the year. really i have been.
what nadia said about being good and all, is a lie i tell you.
so old bearded man, who would you rather believe me or nadia?

now lets put that aside and lets get back to business. here's my list.
1 - MUSE to perform live in singapore again!!!
2 - MUSE to come out with another rocking album!!!
3 - MUSE to give me the replicas of all their equipments!!!
4 - MUSIC TELEPATHY to be successful!!!
5- MUSIC TELEPATHY to be in MTV!!!
6 - MUSIC TELEPATHY to perform at the waterfront!!!
7 - A PS3 console!!!
8 - A Supercomputer!!! (nadia you want this too right?)
9 - Nadia's wishes to come true first, then mine!
10 - For Nadia to get well soon!

hmmm. ok santa, i want wish #10 now, can i?
see im good am i? hello santa, are you there? do you read me? hello?

ok. altogether now, say it with me people!
MUSE ROCKS TO THE CORE! MUSE IS THE BEST! MUSE IS NUMBER ONE!

woop woop~!!! :D

STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

this is the last time i'll abandon you.
and this is, the last time i'll forget you.
yeah, i wish i could.

*goes mental on the strings*

HOPE

you will recover soon. get well soon you!
drink plenty of water. also try not to stay up till so late. :)

ok i should stop nagging. so yeah.

SCHOOL

a place for education. where your parents pay for you and you learn.
cause yea, education is important for us all, it is a MUST for our near future.

but past term, school for me, was a sinking tarpit.

it drags you down. making you struggle. i gave up. i didnt really studied.
i cant blame it on the problems im having, or the jamming sessions i enjoyed, bla bla bla.
eventually it all points to me. so yeah. im at fault.

so from now on, im gonna try change. i may have failed my tests.
but yeah. its not bringing me down. RETEST here i come! screw you, mathematics! :)

I WILL

continue to let my feet drag upon the pavement. go figure now.

SONGS

confirmed for MUSIC TELEPATHY.
- yellow by coldplay
- blurry by puddle of mudd
- (tba)
- (tba)
- (tba)

confirmed for 5TH SIGMA.
- stars by madina lake
- last train home by lost prophets
- my heart by paramore
- stockholm syndrome by muse
- (tba)

excitedness. jamming sessions ahead.

SUNDAY

sunday afternoon. orchard. nadia. syu. putri.
pickup. lunch. long john silver. window shopping.
starbucks. nadia's early departure. we remained.
then departed for home.

school's TOMORROW.
in need of HOLIDAY.

moonbucks? :)

ESCAPE

in hours, i'll get to have my escape from my 4 walls.
freedom. fun. joy. they await. :)

RENEW

finally renew. blogspot.
forget the previous, embrace present now.
hear me now.