INSTRU-MENTAL

i listened hard to myself.
and my heart was playing this...



if only. sigh. idk why. atleast the bands are keeping my alive. :(

DYING AWAY

created this upon myself.
it seems, everythings being sucked into a blackhole.
dragging everything in without mercy. planets, stars, galaxies.

still id redeem myself if given the chance.
id sell my soul to the one who'd state my price.
id do anything. for ive never wanted this much before.

yes, mistakes were made.
and i dont deserve redemption, but still i want this.
so are we now to bare witness of what we've become?

in this never ending war, slowly, maybe, we're dying away.

- Dying Away by Bipolar

LONELY DAY

such a lonely day, and its mine.

aniway, watch out for BIPOLAR. my newest formed band.
electro acoustic! wohoo!

talentime's drawing near, and wow, im enrolling all 3 bands in?! maybe? :)

STILL

so yes, that night i was 'hindu dancing' too.



my smile cannot maintain.



still cannot maintain.



well yeah, everyone was tired.

and i still am sleepy. my coughs getting worst and so are my numb fingers. damn. haha.

RADI DANCED!

believe it or not.

who'd have known id be dancing, jumping and headbanging.
to the songs of muse, killers, radiohead, ladytron, etc.

wow, especially when they played creep by radiohead and d.e.y.t by ladytron.
i was like jumping, especially the song creep!

i was singing at the top of my voice and jumping!
i always wanted to do that for that song!
i started jumping high! and everyone followed too!

waaaaaaaaaaaaah! best giler! ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun~!!! :D

well, to start of, i was just seating at first, until they all pulled me in by force.
also, nah i didnt drink or anything. dont worry. it was all clean.

around 4.
we had breakfast at boat quay's mcd & now we've been at tiet since 5 in the morning.
elizabeth's sleeping in room C, along with inong. i cant fall asleep.
so yup im up, blogging, youtubing.

to radiohead's creep! wahooo! reliving the shouting moment! hahahaha!

its been a great experience. the people i met, lis, wan, and inong.
well, they were great. another time, maybe? :)

to the museum, well nxt sunday then!

oh yah! we stole the mats' cabride! hahahahahaha! die mats die!

I GOT READ

from this man who claims to be an astrologist from kashmir.
he entered tiet, explained himself and showed his identity, and said to me...

"allah has given me a happy face, but inside im not happy.
also, everynight when i try to sleep but i always take a long time.
because i think too much, he also said during my 2006 and until now
i tried and i tried but i failed, which points out my studies.
then he say in october, 3 gd things shall come into my life."

like err. okay

well in the beginning all was fun at the moment, until he went into details.

he said...

"you like this girl for quite a long time.
once there was another girl you could be with, but still you stick the the same one.
and the one you've liked for so long will be one of the 3 good things to come"

and i was like, okay, bullseye. congrats on going into details.
but err, okay, is this false hopes into my face, or is this gonna be for real?

i wish it was for real, but yeah. dont think it will come true.
haiya, idk but aniways...

thanks ah mr astrologist.

GHINZU

weird name for a band though. haha.

ASTRONUTS?

this song's kinda catchy, dont you think so? especially the chorus! :)

aniways...

ok so this friday, im going dancing?
with the one who asked me to go, elizabeth.
and also with 2 of her friends and ubai and ari?

i must be nuts. dance?

hazwan, you'll be missed man! see you on the 28th! :)

LAST TRAIN HOME

so this is it. my final stop. home.
im tired, you're tired. but yup im sure, we will still have our friendship.

i know you dont want this friendship to end. it was since day one, i know.
but all i wanted was things to go the way i wish it turn out to be.

but yeah, this was, well, so utterly foolish of me.
in the process, ive hurt you. and i terribly apologise.
i know you're hurt more than i am. you've sacrificed more than i have.

i understand nadia. i do.

so yeah, these are my final words.

i wish you well in everything.
in finding someone else, in school, in music, everything.

im sure one day. insyallah,

your brother will feel better.
and your mum will have plenty of time with you.
and your dreams of going to california will come true.
and many more of which you've told me.

i'll still remember you in my prayers.

what he told me, i guess its for the best.
nothing shall now stand in our way.

so now...

no more, shooting back with you. no more, sending you home.
no more, asking you out. no more of these futile things.

after 2 years. finally yeah. we can rest in peace.

we need not worry bout how to survive this friendship, every single day.
like you, i do think bout it. but yeah, its just that ive made mistakes.
and yeah, things would go wrong, to top it off, i was still chasing that dream.

so yeah. im terrible sorry again.

lets be happy, like how we were once before.
so yeah, this is my last train home.

nadia, take care. i wish you well, and thank you.
dont worry, i will never forget you, ever.

NEED AID

fucked, and id rather die.

grandma help me.
afnan help me.
amira help me.
mum help me.
hazwan help me.
ubai help me.
syu help me.
aliens help me.
mammals help me.
reptiles helo me.
amphibians help me.

most of all, nadia help me. talk to me.

i dont mean to be cold. i just. i dont know. im sorry.
but its just too much for me to hold after for so long.



please.

:'(

UN-SYNCHRONISED

im not in sync, i dont know why.
nevermind, after tonight, i'll prolly feel better.

TODAY IS SATURDAY

and suprisingly you came! hooray! yay! thank you! :)
but you had to go. oh well. see you on friday then.

how i wish singapore was like this...

the land was green and vast, filled with daisies and sunflowers.
the weather was perfect like today, all the time.
and there was this one long road we had to drive down.

start daydreaming!

END OF FULL SHIFT

and so instead of 3 last bands tonight, there were only 2 bands.
the first was a metalcore-ish band. the last was a slow melodious band.

hooray, for they are good souls. :)

ok nxt week, jamming! cant wait! both music tele and cloud constructors!

for music tele, im gonna force our sound to come out.
i know MT has its own sound, and im gonna try and let it out the next time.
from there on, MORE originals shall be made. :)

for cloud constructors, nothing much. we all quite made up our minds on each song.
all we have to do now is perfect our oris. haha. :)

NADIA~! ICE BLENDED TEH PENG~! BLUEK~!

ok now lets go electronic! *wobbles head*

FULL SHIFT

stuck until 11pm. what do i do until then?

nadia oh nadia, text me? ok nope, she's busy with fyp.
been youtube-ing since the start of my shift. im so tired i could close my eyes and sleep.

oh please, i hope the last 3 customers today wont be a drag.

ok stomach's rumbling, need to buy dinner soon.

IT MEANS NOTHING

if i havent got you.